I am always amazed at how accurate readings are in my world. whether I am the one doing the reading for myself, or I am reading for other, or even when someone else is reading for me, it is always accurate when I am open to the interpretation. I guess this could be seen as what we look for we find as well. Readings are not for everyone, just like Christianity isn't either. So for me this is my happy place and I am glad your here with me in this journey of self discovery.
Last week the cards spoke of dreams and fertility. Lizard and Ostara. I interpreted it on a personal level of our nightly dreams as well as something larger in life, our goals and visions.
Although those cards can still apply to both short sight and long terms I believe for me it was speaking in very short sighted predictions. My nightly dreams and the start of a new beginning with them.
You see I have not dreamt in many years. This is weird because I was a dream journalist and an avid lucid dreamer for the better part of ten years, so today to go without any dreams at night is actually heart wrenching for me. So why the dream kill? What changed that my dreams stopped? What did I do to kill them?
Weed. Smoking Weed chronically wipes out my light sleep and therefor my lucid dreaming. Marijuana smoked has its place in this world but not in my life at present. In-jesting it through a tincture or phoenix tears is acceptable to my dream state and healthy for my motivation and quality of life, but smoking it chronically surely is not(there is a reason it is used to medicate dying people). I started smoking again when I needed deeper sleep and to move from one phase of my life to another with less nightmares and more relaxation. But my cards are now telling me its time to shift out of smoking chronically (after using cards as my intuition for the better part of twenty years, I now know how to listen without question).
This is where I brought to light last week that if your not dreaming take a look at what your doing to harm your body. A soul cannot reside in a body thats being abused and this can have a direct impact on your nightly dreams. Tobacco smokers sometimes lose their dreams because of all the toxins going into their body. However, each person its different, how we react to a certain drug or substance is one way for one person and something completely opposite for another. i cannot eat an abundance of starches without becoming insanely hooked on over eating, where a friend i know feels superstar after a sandwich. One mans energizer is another mans kryptinite. Its only you that can figure out why your not dreaming if your struggling with them.... trial and error.... and detox, are your best answers to figuring things out.
I know through experience and testing marijuana that after a few weeks of smoking it daily my dreams disappear. Now this is just my nightly dreams, my goals and aspirations actually increase and I get way more done when I am chronic. So I choose to dance a fine line between moving forward outwardly in life and losing myself inwardly. Hence the moving back to phoenix tears and away from smoking. The cards this week are asking me to go within again.....
And this past week I began dreaming again!! I have so much fun in my dreams. I get to play out scenarios that are happening in my daily life, I can change outcomes and explore options. LUCID DREAMING!! I can see closer to the reality I am living in at the present moment and I can chose to manipulate it within the dream and watch the unfoldment in real life.
Dreams are where we create our stories. I believe this to be true because of my own experience with it. My next level of dreaming is to study astral travel. I began to see some success with a partner a few years back and now its time to step back into that. When we can astral travel we learn that we are never alone and that our connections grow tenfold and our lives become so enriched we move through existence with an ease of happiness.
Thats what the cards were talking about last week, planting those nightly dreams into fertile soil. Bringing them back into the present.
And Now...This weeks cards.....
Otter and Maeve, we now move into feminine practices and cycles. Going even deeper within!!
This of course can be for everyone men and women alike, but truly i am going to only speak to the women because I believe we need to come together as a clan more then ever this day in age. Men should try to become more like men then the women they have become. We have way to many pansy ass men out there tapped into feelings they should have never had access to in the first place, We women need men to become strong a defensive again so that we can ease back and become women...... but thats just my opinion and a rant for another day.
This week its all about honoring your body as a female and the rhythms of the winter solstice.... which is rest, rest, reflection and recovery. Recovery from a year well lived. Rest from the goals you placed upon yourself last year. Reflection of what you learned and nurturing your body, mind and soul from all the hard work you expended on achieving those said desires.
It is a time of year to go deeply within and honor who you are, where you have been and what you have done with yourself and your life. Its time to take stock, enjoy the pride and revel in all the greatness you are. Honor your cycles, appreciate what it means to be a woman and to stand up in that.
We tend as women to nurture others before ourselves, but this is the time to shut all the doors on others and seclude yourself for your own healing, for your own comfort and nurturing. To close the doors on the energetic drains and the dreams that did not come to pass this past year. Its time to let go.
Maeve makes it easy to flow with nature, to flow with your own body rhythms and with the course of your own life. This week is the week to connect deeply into yourself. The soil is still fertile, your dreams are vivid again and you have received a miracle recently, so my dear beloved, lay back in front of the warm fire and revel in the greatness of who you are today!
Happy Holidays and Welcome Back Sun!!
Last week the Cards Spoke of Doing the Work and receiving the Reward. Boy that could not have been more accurate if I had rigged it myself. i surely love the way my guides work at directing me through the phases of life. So what happened that has me raving about my own reading abilities? College, thats what!!
Funny that even in my examples of the hard work I used college as one of them not thinking that I was talking of my own self. You see i have been working my way towards going back to College to get a business Degree but I wasn't thinking I could get moving on that until next September. What a beautiful surprise i got when i went to take a math placement test at the college.
Do the work reap the rewards was my cards last week. Squirrel which is all about saving money and aquiring resources and then putting them to good use followed by mother Mary bringing a miracle to you. Well turns out that my math from 20 years ago is good enough for the program i am entering after being told by a few different advisers that is wasn't and i would have to upgrade my math. i was shocked and happy to eliminate that potentially year consuming step. What a miracle to be let right into the program in TWO Weeks!!
The work here was the work i did when i went back to school after having my daughter as a teenager. I busted my ass to graduate while raising a baby. The work apparently paid off and now I can just roll right into college after thinking i would not be able too. How great is that??
So now moving on.....
This week Shows me the Lizard and Goddess Ostara. Dreaming and Fertility!!
How perfect is that for me this week.
The Lizard speaks of our dreams and astral travelling and being tapped into all things unseen as well as the desires of our hearts. While in the meantime Ostara is bring rich fertile soil for those dreams to root into. Having just applied to school and this week being the week of xmas and increased tips as a server I can fairly say that my dreams are surely taking root now.
What last week took form for you? What was it that you were working on and it paid off? What this week is filling your dreams? Do you dream? Some of us have blocked not only our nightly REM sleep but our long term dreams. If this is the case for you this is the week to call your dreams back to you. To go off the medications that are blocking your dreams, to remove the toxins that are harming your goals and to start seeing a future again that lights up your world.
Ostara is a huge shifting energy, it is the movement behind the dream. So where last week was squirrel and the work paying off in miracles, this week is the opposite the miracle is the dream and the work is the fertility. Which just gets better and better dont you think?
Take time this week to tap into your nightly dreams, record them if you want and watch for patterns and commonalities. If your an avid dreamer then bring in astral travelling as your next nightly adventure. We as a collective are becoming more in-tune with these energies and people are more willing to practice with you as you float through the night sky visiting friends. the more in-tune we are to your dreams and our astral bodies the more easily we move through this 3D world.
Ostara will bring huge rewards to the adventures of your dreams, she will provide the energy and movement needed to keep them going into the first trimester where they will begin to form into something tangible. So what is it your heart truly desires? What is it that is already pulsing in there but you have been too preoccupied to notice? Last week would have shed light upon that dream, this week would be the excitement of that realization.
For those of you Launching with me, i look forward to a really great nine months with you!! Let the Dream babies flourish!!
A Miracle will arrive after you do the hard work, You know this already.
Chop Wood, Carry Water. Enlightenment. Chop Wood, Carry Water!
Yet some of us still get caught in a web of entitlement.
Think.....You just passed the Finals, Yay, What a reward for all that hard work you had done up until them! Now you can go into the world and get that career that you have been dreaming of. ...Of course some of you will follow this train, not all but the example is still relevant to evolving and doing the work needed to reach your enlightenment. Do the work the reward will come.
This is where the sense of entitlement comes from...You did the work and now it should all run smoothly for you, right? Or maybe you didn't go any further, so you 'Chose' not to work anymore. Sometimes taking a break leads into more?
This weeks reading is encouraging you to get back to the work. Its not over, it possibly may be just beginning and for you to achieve what you are calling for you need to get back to work. Do you feel life has been a celebration lately? That you are patting yourself on the back for the good that has been achieved? Or maybe its the opposite and your restless and angry life isn't moving forward for you.
This is the week to get moving again on those goals, to start the savings account, to make the call that you have been avoiding. This is the week to get back to basics if you are still flying high, the week to put priorities in order. A week to dive into any new work, be it relationship work or physical stuff, the work is the most important part of this week. It is the whole week actually.
Can you imagine starting a job that was only gonna take a week to complete but it was hard fucking labor for 16 hours a day. You had two weeks before starting and will have two weeks off after because the money you will make from that week alone
will be incredible. Would you do the work?
That is the question this week. Where in your life do you need to apply extra work and what will the benefit be to do so?
Their is a miracle here, not just abundance, not just reward, no this is a miracle. Not like the example in the first paragraph. This is more then passing the grade. We are talking dreams here my friends. What dream could you manifest in one weeks time? What dream could you take the very first step on this week? This can be a beginning point for you.
Do you want to go back to school to become something you have always dreamed about? Are you wanting a higher position at work? Are you stalking the cute guy in your building hoping that one day you will match? This is the week to communicate loudly what it is you truly desire and explore the work that needs to be done to achieve it. It's time to step out of comfort if thats what is in your soul to do.
Miracles can be first steps and they are also closing steps.
Miracles are big and small.
If you have been wanting to take out a loan out but keep getting rejected this would be the week that all that hard work pays off. This is the week all the rejections become acceptance. If you have been doing the hard work this is surely your week to see some huge shifts in energy.
Life is fully 100% Karma, I am certain we can all agree on this now, what goes around comes around. Not meaning be afraid of your darker nature just because of this, Because truly we all have our downtime's. The miracle for this week is the flipping of that Karma because even in our darker natures we are still serving the greater good. So if this peaks a nerve expect all those tears to pay off now for you are on an upswing again, even if it's just a glimpse of the fact your still in the game, Maybe enough, hey?
Hard Work ALWAYS pays off.
The path to enlightenment is to Chop wood, carry water.... Enlightenment..... Chop wood, Carry water. It is a cycle always, the power you have is to choose how much wood you wanna chop and how enlightened you wanna be. So if your stuck and restless, I suggest getting un-lazy and try just one log to start and one bucket of water. And once your Miracle shows up, accept it with gratitude and dont forget the rest of the path to your enlightenment.....
Get right back to the work
How does the healed move away from a healing? When does the healed even recognize that the healing is over and now a dependence has established itself. How does the student move on from the training? When does a student even recognize the training is over and the repetitiveness has become toxic?
I think that is where I am at with my tarot readings. i can no longer read for myself, not that I really could ever, but the daily interpretations of the cards needs to stop. They are leading me on wild Goose chases.
I used to pull three of four cards a day, one from each deck I had. It was an incredible training tool as well incredibly insightful to what was also occurring in my life. The whole experience was brilliant when looking back at it. And maybe that is why i thought it was the right route last year after running away from a trapping situation I dove head first back into my cards for guidance. But this time it just didn't work the same.
One thing I have learned on my journey of self discovery, is that you can never repeat a successful program twice. I guess that flows into my own lessons and when it is necessary to move into something new. Repeating the same lesson is never really wise now is it? I just never seen my daily readings as lessons but now that I am seeing more clearly who I am and what it is that truly feels good I see that I was going backwards not forwards.
Reading for myself has become convoluted, the messages blurry and the same message for over an entire year. Ya I just cant indulge those cards like that anymore. I need to find another avenue for my readings. Maybe the two card online weekly readings I have seen other creative people use in their columns and blogs. Maybe Even here I can start to create that for myself! Wow! Thank you for that suggestion dear Key tapping fingers!
So there I have it. Learning when too move on from an old program of self discovery into a new one. I have opened some FB groups that played with this fire and it was incredible. so incredible that I had to run away from it true to my natural fashion. lol But also true to who i am I always come back to what is right and good for me.
So please enjoy my new weekly card readings!!
Life happens in phases and cycles, sometimes the down time phases are the hardest to get thought and then there are times that everything is going so well yet you cant seem to feel the happiness that you should around whats happening.
Thats where I am at. I have all this great stuff happening in my life and yet I cant seem to be happy about it. I feel like I am finally on my way to what I have wanted since the begining of my time yet I am more depressed then I ever have been.
I am hung up on the fact I am not getting my wishes fulfilled. I am stuck spinning over a failure I feel is unjustified, I am wallowing in the pity of knowing that the situation should and could and would be different if I had just went with the flow in the beginning. But i couldn't, I was too scared.
Following my hearts desire to become something in the metaphysical world has taken me well over fifteen years to achieve from this same lack of faith and trust in myself and what my heart truly wants. i have always second guessed It, crossed it, provoked it and down right attacked its desire's. My own heart. Why is that?
Patterns and experience is showing me that truly this is the same situation now in the romance department. I am attacking my heart so hard for letting a great opportunity slip through my fingers.... not just slip through gracefully but a full on fight club motion picture of alter ego sabotage. I guess the first time never really works out, hey?
When it comes to my career and all the things I have wanted to do and have pursued, I can let go fairly easily under the understanding of the position not being a fit for me or feeling uneasy about it. There was only one position i sabotaged that I held on to for seven years in heart attack mode and let me tell you that has been a terrible seven years holding on to that.
So am I to experience the same seven years terribleness because I refuse to let go of this current heart pain?
I think my thought patterns have been about fighting to hold on to it, like I should have the job position I loved most. But in truth would I have been any better off had I kept that position? I look back now and where I am heading with my schooling and think that I probably would not have ended up here actually pursuing my passion, I would have stayed under the thumb of others instead. In the end I would have left anyways. Maybe just a softer easier way would have been had.... or maybe not.
So what do I do to move through this break up with my current desire in a more graceful fashion? How do I learn to let go easier, because I will be honest, I have tried many things and know of all the things that work and my heart is the most stubborn thing within me and she is refusing to listen to reason.
I look at my entire life and the number 3 year I am for numerology and it is suppose to be my joy year. My fun year, my finding a voice year and with the exception of that last part none of the other stuff is joyful. I feel attacked on the outside from all the people around me. For the first time in my life people really do not like me.
Becoming strong in personality and learning to love yourself fully has some serious drawbacks. When I was just an image for other people to like because of my insecurities I felt no opposition from people around me. i didn't even understand how much bliss that was to be a wall flower, a follower, the person that is there for everyone. Because now that I stand up for myself, now that I share my opinions and stick behind them, now that I am somebody who cares but is a leader, I feel i am attacked much more.
I asked for thicker skin a few years back. I was told I was too sensitive too many times so I decided I needed the experiences to not fall into that category any more... too sensitive. Well Now apparently I am just an insensitive bitch. Oh how the pendulum swings.
I just want to feel okay with my life. i dont need happiness on the daily, but i would like peace. I have sought peace out many times and have established and maintained it for periods of time, then I get bored. So really this is where the cycles and patterns of life are observed most greatly. Within my feelings. Because really feelings have an odd way of not matching whats happening in your life.
The law of attraction is such a 3d world of surface functioning. Be happy, smile lots and surely people will smile back, have a scowl and indeed people will follow and mirror that back to you. But that is the extent of the law of attraction. Do good things and good things will happen for you, and surely this is true as well, but there is a border line followers agenda here because we are not happy all the time.
So flowing with the cycles and understanding what brings on your melancholy is probably a better action then diving into either shifting the feeling or drowning in it. I am without my jeep for two months. my jeep is my passion right now. i love being in it, I love pushing it to see what it can do, I love the feelings it brings me when i am stunting, I love how it makes me look and feel when I am with it. i truly love my jeep.
Am i a materialistic person? Not at all. I am a naturalist who loves to live simply and one day will retire to the mountains to live out my retirement years in solitude living off the land. but for now, I want to experience everything and i want to win at the game called life. so ya I am depressed that my passion is sitting in my mechanics shop needing a total front end over haul. That and mix in my love interest failed me and yes my heart is pretty desolate right now.
Maybe my sadness is what I need to function in life. maybe I will always be sad. maybe its my true love affair to stay in what is most comfortable for me, a broken heart.
And then there is the point of doing what you know is best for you. There is the understanding that the universe does provide for you when you are providing for it. Taking care of your responsibilities is the way to move your heart out of misery because it is a sense of doing whats right and well in your world. But slipping into depression and letting your day take over the feel of misery without any sort of reward is very inviting when you are getting tired of very little rewards happening.
Stop and smell the roses, take note of the small things and give thanks often for what you do have. These are all things I tell myself on the daily. but truly I am overwhelmed. and if I am overwhelmed now, how the hell am I going to add more to my plate to move forward? How can i flip this around? even though I have been here a thousand times i still struggle with trying to figure it out each time I slip back into this cycle. Do I really have control getting out of it, or am i just to flow as always and know I am never really the one in control, or is it the other way around.... am I always the one in control??